> >A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. >Unknown to her, her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. >Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. > >The boy now has company. > >Boy: "Dark in here." > >Man: "Yes it is." > >Boy: "I have a baseball." > >Man: "That's nice." > >Boy: "Want to buy it?" > >Man: "No, thanks." > >Boy: "My dad's outside." > >Man: "OK, how much?" > >Boy: "$250." > >In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover >are again in the closet together. > >Boy: "Dark in here." > >Man: "Yes, it is." > >Boy: "I have a baseball glove." > >Man: "How much?" > >Boy: "$750." > >Man: "Fine." > >A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go >outside and toss the baseball." > >The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." > >The father asks: "How much did you sell them for?" > >The son says, "$1,000." > >The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. >That is way more than those two things cost. >I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." > >They go to church and the father alerts the priest, and makes the little >boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door. > >The boy says, "Dark in here." > >The priest says, "Don't start that s**t again."
These four friends went on vacation together. To save money, they decided to sleep two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing -- hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I just watched him all night."
The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning," He said.
They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long."
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled. "We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied.
The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" "No... it's because you're 25."
