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Funny craigslist post.

 

Gold Member
Username: Tanmanfosho

Post Number: 1224
Registered: Nov-06
Saw the thread "Funniest Police Report Ever" or something like that and reminded me of a craigslist ad that was shown to me a while back, the actual post is gone, but the text still floats around.

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

- Alex
 

Diamond Member
Username: Wingmanalive

Www.stainles... .ecrater.com

Post Number: 24989
Registered: Jun-06
Nice lol.
 

Gold Member
Username: Tanmanfosho

Post Number: 1225
Registered: Nov-06
Whether it's true or not, I don't know, but it really was on craigslist. The "missed connections" section I guess lol.
 

Gold Member
Username: Wolf_hound

Phoenix, AZ

Post Number: 1410
Registered: Sep-05
I don't think its true. He bought gas with the card instead of paying it with the cash that was in the wallet? still pretty funny though
 

Gold Member
Username: Tanmanfosho

Post Number: 1228
Registered: Nov-06
Makes sense to me, give the bum some cash, prolly wasn't a large amount, fill your car with gas, easily over 40 bucks, depending on vehicle and location.
 

Gold Member
Username: Th3pwn3r

I compensate...

Post Number: 9808
Registered: Jul-06
Around here you have to either enter a pin number or a zip code in order to use a credit/debit card at gas stations. Either way, funny store.
 

Gold Member
Username: Tanmanfosho

Post Number: 1230
Registered: Nov-06
Same here on most pumps. But zip code isn't the hardest to guess
 

Gold Member
Username: Van_man

Boston South, MA

Post Number: 5490
Registered: Mar-06
Funny but fake. there are a few versions of it floating around.
 

New member
Username: Musicneverstops

Post Number: 3
Registered: Sep-11
Yeah, you right. I've heard a few other versions of that. But still it's cool))
 

Diamond Member
Username: Wingmanalive

Www.stainles... .ecrater.com

Post Number: 25122
Registered: Jun-06
Hi Abby. I like your name. It's very 80's like.
 

New member
Username: Musicneverstops

Post Number: 5
Registered: Sep-11
Thanx. Love my name)
 

New member
Username: Antennas

Post Number: 10
Registered: Dec-09
Its funny but does not seem to be true just an entertainment story.
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