Your Significant Other, and their Poor Listening Habits

 

Gold Member
Username: Nickelbut10

Post Number: 1133
Registered: Jun-07
Anybody out there ever upgrade a piece of equipment in their system and was blown away by the clear difference it made in your setup? Of course you have. Who hasn't.

Ever upgraded, hearing a clear difference, and be told by your Significant other that they can't hear a difference at all??? What the hell are they listening to? What is She/He hearing? I just purchased an old Bryston to replace a NAD C272. I get the thing hooked up, and immediately hear the difference it makes. My wife tells me she can't tell the difference at all..In fact, she claims it sounds exactly the same. I can even hear the difference while watching TV. Now that I am finished my rant...

I would like anyone who has had an experience like this, to please share it with me. Any time you can remember you upgraded, pleasing you greatly only to be told your lover can't hear a single change. Please share those moments, as it would make me feel at ease.
 

Gold Member
Username: My_rantz

Australia

Post Number: 1825
Registered: Nov-05
Nick, congrats on the Bryston. My experience is quite the opposite. My wife has noticed clearly a better difference going from our NAD C542 to the Apollo, from the Apollo to the Naim CD51. from the B&W 602's to the Quads and, from the C162/C272 to the MFA5 intregrated. She even commented favourably when we changed cables from Monster to the Merlin I/C's. But, she let me down on the speaker cable - going from Kordz Bi-wire to Bland'n'dull Seatack bi-wire. The difference wasn't huge I admit but better nonetheless imo.

So to sum it up - get a new significent other (long as you can get a refund on the ring)
 

Gold Member
Username: Mike3

Wylie, Tx USA

Post Number: 1089
Registered: May-06
Nick, go easy on M.R., I already went at him for finding a wife with an ear. LOL.

Perhaps you are my brother-in-law Nick as you must have married my wife's sister from another mother.

Marsh has made it clear to me that she hears nothing significant from my kit, even when I played her favorite Willie Nelson songs and her sitting in the "Chair". She explains to me that the detail, imaging, and soundstage mean nothing to her. I suspect she gets the PRAT as her idea of musical enjoyment is if it makes her sway, dance, or sing, the music is good.

Heck I even bribed her with real money to come up and listen to Pink Floyd. She took the cash and never came up to listen.
 

Gold Member
Username: Mike3

Wylie, Tx USA

Post Number: 1090
Registered: May-06
Nick, go easy on M.R., I already went at him for finding a wife with an ear. LOL.

Perhaps you are my brother-in-law Nick as you must have married my wife's sister from another mother.

Marsh has made it clear to me that she hears nothing significant from my kit, even when I played her favorite Willie Nelson songs and her sitting in the "Chair". She explains to me that the detail, imaging, and soundstage mean nothing to her. I suspect she gets the PRAT as her idea of musical enjoyment is if it makes her sway, dance, or sing, the music is good.

Heck I even bribed her with real money to come up and listen to Pink Floyd. She took the cash and never came up to listen.
 

Gold Member
Username: Artk

Albany, Oregon USA

Post Number: 6190
Registered: Feb-05
My wife often can hear the differences...she just assigns different values to them than I do. I have taken the time to show her what to listen for and she usually gets it and can repeat the ID. Sometimes she just looks at me and shakes her head (especially when I'm making minute changes in the isolations and placement). What's most satisfying is when she spontaneously says....that really sounds good, did you do something to the system...oh yeah!
 

Gold Member
Username: My_rantz

Australia

Post Number: 1826
Registered: Nov-05
LOL Mike!

And Art, like mine, yours is a definite keeper as well [grin]. Heck, some of you know I'm extremely blessed to have a wife at all let alone one who likes her music to sound like music. But guys it really doesn't matter if the better half "doesn't get it" - after all, it is our money sucking hobby.

But then, they do get upset if we don't notice the new dress or shoes (their money sucking hobby) don't they?
 

Gold Member
Username: Nickelbut10

Post Number: 1136
Registered: Jun-07
LOL MW- Im hearing you loud and clear my friend. Maybe I will give it some time, and she will come around. She claims she could hear a difference in CD players, but Ive only had the amp for a day really. So here is hoping. Still a piss off though.lol. I mean its so obvious..but nope.."I can't tell the difference, what we had before was good.."" Nar!!

I think it depends on weather the girl is interested that day or not. If you get them on a bad day, their not interested, so their not going to hear a difference even if you hit them over the head with a sock while they listened.lol. Im glad somebody else at least shares my pain.
 

Gold Member
Username: Nickelbut10

Post Number: 1137
Registered: Jun-07
LOL M.R- Shoes, clothes, hair, and jewelry. Hey how come they can have so many money sucking hobbies, and I only get ONE. And how come their money sucking hobbies become MY money sucking hassle. Fair? lol.
 

Silver Member
Username: Shawnharman

Post Number: 162
Registered: Dec-05
my girlfriend can hear a difference in my gear, I have everything from vintage gear to new stuff, and she likes my older gear that I have, she always gives me a review of the stuff that I have hooked up.
 

Silver Member
Username: Hawkbilly

Nova Scotia Canada

Post Number: 134
Registered: Jul-07
I don't know what mine can hear. She never admits that anything sounds different, usually just rolling her eyes and walking away. Drives me crazy. I just bought a new amp and I'm sure of two things. She'll say it's ugly, and she'll claim to hear no difference whatsoever.

On the plus side, she at least has stopped asking "How much did THAT cost?".

She never sits down and listens to music, but she loves music. It's just always in the background for her, never the focus of her attention. I think she can hear the differences as well as I can, she just doesn't want to encourage me.
 

Silver Member
Username: Dmitchell

Ottawa, Ontario Canada

Post Number: 637
Registered: Feb-07
My wife actually heard the difference awhile back when I bi-amped my (now gone) Paradigm Monitors. I was quite surprised. She also noticed immediately the improvement of my Cambridge CDP over listening to music via the PC.

I am now in the same happy position as you Chris - my wife now accepts my answer when she asks how much my latest piece of gear cost.

Wife: "How much did THAT cost... it looks expensive".
Dave: "Don't ask"
Wife: "OK"

It's great.
 

Gold Member
Username: Stu_pitt

Irvington, New York USA

Post Number: 2460
Registered: May-05
My wife cares as much about my stereo as I care about her pocketbooks and shoes.

If I get a new piece of gear that I like, she's happy for me. If she gets a new pocketbook that she likes, I'm happy for her.

When we first started living together, she came home one day with a guilty look on her face. She says to me "I did something stupid... I bought a Coach bag for $350." I said "Is the rent paid? Do we have food for the week? Is the bills paid?"

We have the mutual understanding that as long as the bills are paid and we can pay off what we buy quickly, why not buy what makes us happy?

In regards to if I'd rather she was into stereo gear, I'm not sure. What if she like gear that I didn't like? What if she liked the opposite of what I like? I couldn't live with a Music Hall set up. That would drive me crazier than her rolling her eyes at me.
 

Silver Member
Username: Hawkbilly

Nova Scotia Canada

Post Number: 135
Registered: Jul-07
Good point Stu. If she was into it as much as I am I'd have to fight for "the chair".
 

Silver Member
Username: Magfan

USA

Post Number: 112
Registered: Oct-07
There are 2 primary approaches to this issue.

1. The Toaster approach. Stereo /HT as an appliance. Does it work? Can you see / hear? Does this device/system have utility?

2. The 'esoteric' approach. Good handling? Great sound? Elite?

Examples from the automotive realm are Camry/Accord for #1.
Krell/Mac/(many others) for #2

My wife will agonize over shoes / bags / accessories. She is nearly indifferent to my audio choices.
 

Gold Member
Username: Nickelbut10

Post Number: 1141
Registered: Jun-07
"What if she liked the opposite of what I like? I couldn't live with a Music Hall set up. That would drive me crazier than her rolling her eyes at me."

LOL very good point. That makes so much sense. Im glad then she isnt into Audio then. *YES!!*
 

Gold Member
Username: Artk

Albany, Oregon USA

Post Number: 6196
Registered: Feb-05
"In regards to if I'd rather she was into stereo gear, I'm not sure. What if she like gear that I didn't like? What if she liked the opposite of what I like? I couldn't live with a Music Hall set up. That would drive me crazier than her rolling her eyes at me."

That's hilarious Stu...another classic!
 

Silver Member
Username: Stryvn

Post Number: 666
Registered: Dec-06
I honestly don't understand people that aren't moved by music in SOME capacity.

My wife listens to me rave on about this recording or that lp. Or the difference between the old cdp and the new cdp with the 'yea's" and "uh-huhs" in the right places. I realize I am talking to myself. It's ok.

She doesn't know what the box on the top with all the slots does. She doesn't know what the box on the bottom with all the buttons does. The box on the right has a door that shoots out for the cd thingy's but how the hell do you get that door open? Turntable? She wonders why I am going back in time with this thing, I am sure. The box in the middle? The big round knob in the middle of the box makes the noise get louder. This she knows. She also knows that the big knob never goes past twelve o'clock.

And she doesn't understand how I can be moved nearly to tears by music.

Yet she continues to pretend to listen.

So when she comes home and asks me who sings that song that goes like, "When I need love....I hold out my hand and I touch love...." I laugh and I tell her it's Leo Sayer.

And when I see the Leo Sayer lp at the used record store, I buy it, bring it home and play it when she don't expect it.

And I quietly look for a tube amp kit to buy.
 

Gold Member
Username: Mike3

Wylie, Tx USA

Post Number: 1093
Registered: May-06
I guess if I (probably could insert we for I here) were able to buy every piece of kit I own for $25 like Kevin Corr does my wife might think a little differently about my system and the music.

I think she could not bring herself to spend on herself what I spend on my equipment. To an extent there could be an undercurrent of resentment there. She does not have a hobby like this. Don't get me wrong, on the whole our spending balances out, it's just I hit big items now and then and she shops more as a routine. Her buying however is more often not for her.

Do I want her to appreciate the sound like I do?

Certainly.

Realistically it is not going to happen. My compromise is lowering the volume when she is home or foregoing it altogether to just spend some quiet time in front of the TV or playing cards. I have enough opportunity to listen under my "conditions" to not have to make it become an issue.

While I suspect some resentment, Marsh frequently turns me on to new music or will bring home a CD box set or something she thinks I will enjoy. Missy Higgins was only the most recent.

If you recall Nuck's post on my room perhaps I am creating my own level of division as she does not like the way I have the media room set up. Then again it was her idea to flip the couch to face the speakers instead of the chair which really was the last thing missing in terms of room quietness.

I more or less accept it for what it is and appreciate the subtle support she shows for my passion.
 

Silver Member
Username: Shawnharman

Post Number: 163
Registered: Dec-05
wow michael, dude that was deep.
 

Gold Member
Username: Nickelbut10

Post Number: 1143
Registered: Jun-07
I hear ya Mike. Funny, we were watching P.O.T.C tonight on Blu-Ray and my future wife says" Wow the system sounds so clear tonight". lol. I can notice a big difference in the music and explosions coming from the towers because of the Bryston and I think she could it tonight. But when I tried to explain that to her...lol I got the rolling eyes and the head shake. lol I expected that though.
 

Gold Member
Username: Frank_abela

Berkshire UK

Post Number: 2717
Registered: Sep-04
Sorry Nick, you're going to hate me - my wife hears everything, every little change. Last change I tried, she told me within two bars that I had to have what I'd just inserted - a Naim ARO tonearm at £1700...
 

Gold Member
Username: Nickelbut10

Post Number: 1165
Registered: Jun-07
lol My Wife eventually admits that she can hear a difference. She just has the attitude for the first few days that I get a new piece that "it doesn't matter". Eventually it grows on her, and her brain allows her to listen.lol. Remember too, my wife is a 24 year old. Im sure her listening habits will change as she matures. Hopefully...lol.
 

Silver Member
Username: Luxendel

Gondelsheim, Baden-Württe... Germany

Post Number: 111
Registered: Oct-07
Oooops, my soulmate doesnt even know in which price-region I upgraded into....goddamnit.

Wife: "How much did THAT cost... it looks expensive".
Dave: "Don't ask"
Wife: "OK"

Same ol'here....
She couldnt care less...for her, the only matter is: "I can hear music...." LOL

Its like green tea.
I am an enthusiast.
I love green Japanese tea.
Like Gyokuro. To me nothing beats that fine tea.
To Moni its like:
"Yeah, its green tea, right?"

I stand there looking...lol.

Everybody has his/her secrets...as long as finances are not in danger...LOL...
 

Silver Member
Username: Luxendel

Gondelsheim, Baden-Württe... Germany

Post Number: 112
Registered: Oct-07
Oooops, my soulmate doesnt even know in which price-region I upgraded into....goddamnit.

Wife: "How much did THAT cost... it looks expensive".
Dave: "Don't ask"
Wife: "OK"

Same ol'here....
She couldnt care less...for her, the only matter is: "I can hear music...." LOL

Its like green tea.
I am an enthusiast.
I love green Japanese tea.
Like Gyokuro. To me nothing beats that fine tea.
To Moni its like:
"Yeah, its green tea, right?"

I stand there looking...lol.

Everybody has his/her secrets...as long as finances are not in danger...LOL...
 

Bronze Member
Username: Jazzman71

Phoenix, AZ USA

Post Number: 12
Registered: Dec-07
I told my wife I planned to buy a CDP and tube amp that I described as obscenely expensive (though not by this group's standards) and how I was going to pay for it, and she was OK with it.

Then it arrived and I happened to comment that they cost more than my first car. She said "my first car cost $100." I said "my first NEW car!" She said "my first new car cost $6,000." I said "you're getting warm."

She has not specifically commented on the SQ, but I doubt she would notice much difference. By the time I got it turned down enough for her, I was the one who could tell a difference -- still hearing every nuance of the music at a volume she could tolerate. That's a situation I can live with.

I can't complain -- she goes with me to see Pat Metheny and bought me tickets for us to see the Rippingtons for Christmas. Life is good.

Nick, I don't think you're in the minority. I think if I have a wife that respects my passion for music, shares it with me periodically, and gives me space to enjoy it, that's about all I can ask. Actually, I am kind of glad her ears aren't any better -- I can't afford $3500 tone arms like Frank! LOL.
 

Gold Member
Username: Nickelbut10

Post Number: 1213
Registered: Jun-07
LOL good point Neil.
 

Gold Member
Username: Frank_abela

Berkshire UK

Post Number: 2740
Registered: Sep-04
Neil, who said I could afford it???

Anyway I'm a dealer...I only reveal retail prices. :-)
 

Gold Member
Username: Nickelbut10

Post Number: 1215
Registered: Jun-07
Can U say..COST PRICES!!!?? Upmarket in Audio products is huge. Good show Frank.lol.
 

Silver Member
Username: Magfan

USA

Post Number: 116
Registered: Oct-07
Don't worry about significant other not hearing what you hear. Some people are happy with an AM radio and the fact that it works.
Wife puts on loud music to her taste for housework while I do more sit-down-and-listen.
Does she hear subtle differences? No, but that is beneath her radar. If it mattered to her, she would figure it out in her own way.
I got a wry look when some new cables arrived. I'll put 'em in and wont' get a single comment.
I'm looking forward to pitching 20 yrs worth of giveaways in the trash.
Frank:: you know you've got a serious problem when you become a dealer to feed it! just kidding, since actually I'm jealous. You get to hear much new stuff, hooked up properly in a good enviroment while skimming off what you like at cost! Just one question. How long does your system remain stable between changes? I just finished a round of upgrades after nearly 20 years of basic stability. If I started changing stuff on a monthly basis, I'd be in real Hot Water::
« Previous Thread Next Thread »



Main Forums

Today's Posts

Forum Help

Follow Us